Sex should not be painful. If you are a man or a woman who experiences physical pain during sexual contact, whether intercourse or other activities, that’s not how sex is supposed to feel!
A physical exam is an important place to start. Try to pinpoint when pain occurs, and where, as much as you can, to give a physician as much information as possible.
PAIN CAN BE CAUSED BY:
- undetected infection
- cysts or other benign growths
- scarring from previous procedures
- anatomical differences between partners
- angle of the uterus, cervix, pubic bones
- lack of lubrication
- poor communication, lack of information
- referred pain from the pelvis
- AMONG OTHER THINGS
Do not try to diagnose yourself!
If you have seen a physician and been told that you are “normal” and that no physical reason for your pain during sex can be found, do not give up. There are conditions not caused by a physical or medical problem, but that do have painful physical symptoms, for example, vaginismus.
Vaginismus is a condition of involuntary spasms of the vagina which make it difficult, painful, or impossible for anything to enter. Some women with Vaginismus cannot tolerate a gynecological exam, or use a tampon, and intercourse is impossible, or painful.
Not all physicians are familiar with this condition, and some physicians may not be able to treat it, but there ARE treatments.
A sex counselor or therapist can help figure out if vaginismus or a related condition is your problem, and can help you know what to tell a physician, who can then be part of a combined treatment approach.
Vaginismus is treated with a combination of physical and mental activities, at your pace, and can be overcome. It is NOT “all in your head” nor your “fault,” nor is it necessarily related to past sexual trauma. The key word with Vaginismus is that it is INVOLUNTARY; why women get it is not always clear, and doesn’t necessarily have to be, in order for it to be treated.
Whether it is Vaginismus or something else causing your sexual pain, whether you are male or female, stop making up reasons to explain your pain! And especially, DO NOT SUFFER QUIETLY. Make a call! Get support, information, medicine if needed, and believe that you can have sexual health – which includes pleasure, not unwanted pain!
